I finally had to call the store manager at Lowe’s about my carpets. Ordered them on the 14th. The store got them on the 21st, and someone put a note in the computer that I had been notified (I hadn’t) and the carpet had gone to the installer. One helpful Lowe’s employee faxed my purchase order with a request for them to contact me on Sunday. I called Lowe’s yesterday, and they gave me the number for the installer (who still hadn’t called) so I gave them a ring. Actually, about 15 rings. They don’t answer the phone or have a machine to do it. So I pulled out my receipt and noticed that the store manager’s name is on it. Sometimes you just have to go higher up to complain, so I called him. He got someone to call the installer, who says he’ll call me to set up an appointment tonight. He also said that if I don’t hear from the installer, to call him again. I will. I’m sick of my kids sleeping on the floor and living out of laundry baskets. I never had to wait this long before, or had to make so many phone calls for something so simple. If we carpet another room, I’ll be looking for references to smaller companies first.

Oh, yes – I can. It’s my blog.

I’m on the lookout all the time for evidence that people should not be allowed to write in public. Or name their businesses, or write signs. I think that “Eats, Shoots, and Leaves” should be required reading.

I tend to have a very visual imagination, and things that present bizarre mental pictures are both jarring and amusing to me. Back in the 70’s and 80’s, Steve Miller band supplied me with one of my favorites (from “Abracadabra”) “Black panties with an angel’s face”. Scandal’s “Warrior” was another – “your eyes touch me physically”. I need to not be drinking anything when I hear those, because some serious snorting happens when I picture these things.

Now, some of the more local things that have amused me are a contractor’s truck emblazoned with the slogan “Quality is not an option” (call us when you want a really crappy job!) and a beauty salon called “De’Classe'” (we give you only ludicrous and/or dated styles – ask about our special on expired hair dyes!). So, I’m driving around Toms River on a combination destination: shopping/where the heck am I? tour and ahead of me is an exterminator’s truck. The name of the company? “Nuk Em”. I’m picturing all these guys in jumpsuits trying to tuck pacifiers into little insect mouths, and I almost had to pull off to the side of the road. Realistically, I know (partly from the mushroom cloud in the middle of the logo) that the business owner really meant “Nuke ‘Em”, but still. . .a truck full of roach binkies is just too funny!