http://spamusement.com/ Some very funny cartoons inspired by spam titles!
http://www.superdickery.com/ Pictures from comic books with commentary that had me in stitches. Yes, Superman is a dick, and Batman may well be gay. . . and you’ll see where the pope got the idea for the bulletproof bubble car.
I didn’t write about these earlier, because I wanted an entry that showed a range. It has more impact that way, I think.
Went to the FoodTown. There were two cashiers. The lady in front of me had a giganto-humongo food order. She stands there watching the cashier ring up a few items, then pause to bag them so she has room to ring more. And then again. The line behind me is starting to pile up. The lady watches some more, then listlessly comments, “Oh, there are no baggers?” as if she only now noticed. She bags approximately three items after that. Finally, the cashier has managed to bag enough items so she can ring again, the conveyor belt moves forward about a foot. Lady behind me gives me a poke and says “Aren’t you going to move up?” I’m surrounded. . .stupid lady who doesn’t notice the need to bag and stupid lady who thinks things will move faster if I move up a foot three seconds earlier.
Off on the road a couple of days later. . .I’m stopped at a stop sign. Across from me is another driver stopped at his stop sign. Third driver comes to the intersection. He has no stop sign. He has the right of way. He stops. He looks at both me and the other stopped driver and begins making WTF gestures at both of us as if we’re doing something wrong, or holding him up, whatever. Finally he turns, I follow because we’re both going to the same place, and at the next stop sign, he breezes through without even slowing down or looking.
Last night we went to a meeting for the 5th graders and parents about drug and alcohol awareness. Sadly necessary, although there wasn’t much we needed to know. However, the police officer who spoke had to warn parents not to drop kids off in the wrong area of the school, and especially not to drop them off if they were drunk, high, driving a stolen car, driving with a suspended license. . .and he had to tell the parents this because these things had, indeed, been done by parents in the past.
Checked my email – I’m waiting for some information about an upcoming test, and lo and behold, a chunk of emails from the same place notifying me of my new “friends”. Yes, once again some yahoo out there has decided that alison@alison.com is some kind of generic email she can use. Yes, hon, I changed your password and your homepage. No, I’m not canceling the account so you can do it again.
And here’s a bonus. . .I get on here to bitch, and there’s a comment saying my site sucks. Oh, yeah. . .someone I don’t know, someone who can neither spell nor punctuate, someone who will have absolutely no impact whatever on anything important to me, thinks my site sucks. Excuse me while I go put a sawed-off shotgun in my mouth. The emotional devastation!!! I am wracked with feelings of inadequacy!11oneoneone
On a happy note, though, the tree service is here to get rid of my dead trees, finally. And the skylight guy will be here this afternoon to see if he can fix the broken skylight for me.
The plan here is to go with the flow – there are a lot of spots in the front yard that just do not want to grow grass. We do not particularly care to mow grass. It’s all good! Because the front yard is pretty enormous, this will be done in stages, a little each year, but here’s my first project in lawn elimination:
Not so bad, eh?
We’ll be visiting my mother tomorrow for Mother’s day, and I know for certain that she’ll have some volunteer plants she’ll be happy to donate. Some malva, a few different kinds of ferns, who knows? Right now, I’ve been going to the various local garden centers looking for treasures, and I’ve found a few. There’s a little place called The Cedar Post in Lakehurst, on 70 just west of the intersection with 37. It’s small, but the plants were all healthy, and the prices were very good. This place also sells fruits and vegetables, which will be nice when Jersey corn comes into season – I’ve never done well growing it on my own. These plants, though, came from Berry Fresh Farms on Brick Boulevard in Brick. If I were shopping for price, this would not be my first stop, but it’s huge, has a varied selection of really healthy plants, and also sells fruits and vegetables, plus some baked goods. From them, I got the bicolor Scotch Broom on the left, the cream colored Rhododendron, the purple Tradescantia, and the barely visible Gaura. The Azaleas were transplanted from the back yard. I also found what looks like a Rugosa Rose in the middle of all of this, tamed to a tiny mound by a lawnmower. No more – I left it to grow as it likes. The broom, rhododendron, and azaleas will all get taller and wider. The Artemisia will stay low and spread. The Tradescantia is a bulb – it’ll spread, and as it becomes dense, I can pull up patches and transplant them. The Gaura self-seeds like mad, which might be a nuisance in a smaller space, but I love the way it looks.
When the vegetable garden starts to look more like a garden and less like a swath of brown with little green specks, I’ll put up some pictures of that, too. And when the blueberries get taller and raspberries get put in and start to grow, we’ll have edible landscaping by the ton. I’ve put herbs in with the rest of the plants, with mint, cilantro, fenugreek, and parsley under the azaleas in back, some thyme by the pond, and some in the front along with the sage and rosemary. Somewhere, there’s a cantaloupe seedling, too.
The tree service is supposed to come on Monday. There are two trees in the back that need to come down. The big parts will become firewood for next year. The branches will become wood chips, which the tree guys will be leaving for me, and they’ll become compost and mulch for later on. After they’re down, there’ll be room for me to build a little stone patio by the pond from the slates that are scattered all over the yard (and the ugly white rocks, too) and plant some more between the tree and shrubs in the corner of pool and patio. I hate that doing it myself takes so long, but I love seeing the end result and knowing that it was done by me. And once I’m off my antibiotics, I’ll sit down with a glass of wine by the plants and enjoy the view.