Last night, I tried sleeping without ativan. I wouldn’t say it was a complete failure, but it could have been better. However, when I got out of bed, I anticipated how good the day was going to be, and was in a great mood regardless of my lack of sleep. The Adderal started kicking in faster, about an hour after I took it instead of almost 2 hours. I got on the treadmill, did some straightening, decided to get a start on the piles of papers and receipts all over my desk (good, because I’ve been afraid of starting it and getting halfway done for so long that it was becoming a major source of stress.) I made a to-do list that was reasonable and flexible, and when I was going around the house straightening, I saw something that I needed to add to a to-do list. . .and then stopped, realizing that it wasn’t urgent, and that if I saw it today and it reminded me it needed doing, I’ll see it again another day when I’m actually looking for something to do. The adderal isn’t suppressing my hunger as much as it did a few days ago, but I’m testing how much self-discipline it gives me by tracking points. It’s not making me euphoric, but it’s helping me to feel optimistic. It’s not making me wired, but it’s keeping me from feeling desperate for more sleep (or for sleep as an escape from indecision.) I’m not down when it starts to wear off, but I sure do wish it lasted longer.