Oh, yes – I can. It’s my blog.

I’m on the lookout all the time for evidence that people should not be allowed to write in public. Or name their businesses, or write signs. I think that “Eats, Shoots, and Leaves” should be required reading.

I tend to have a very visual imagination, and things that present bizarre mental pictures are both jarring and amusing to me. Back in the 70’s and 80’s, Steve Miller band supplied me with one of my favorites (from “Abracadabra”) “Black panties with an angel’s face”. Scandal’s “Warrior” was another – “your eyes touch me physically”. I need to not be drinking anything when I hear those, because some serious snorting happens when I picture these things.

Now, some of the more local things that have amused me are a contractor’s truck emblazoned with the slogan “Quality is not an option” (call us when you want a really crappy job!) and a beauty salon called “De’Classe'” (we give you only ludicrous and/or dated styles – ask about our special on expired hair dyes!). So, I’m driving around Toms River on a combination destination: shopping/where the heck am I? tour and ahead of me is an exterminator’s truck. The name of the company? “Nuk Em”. I’m picturing all these guys in jumpsuits trying to tuck pacifiers into little insect mouths, and I almost had to pull off to the side of the road. Realistically, I know (partly from the mushroom cloud in the middle of the logo) that the business owner really meant “Nuke ‘Em”, but still. . .a truck full of roach binkies is just too funny!